Filling the empty space

A closet door is busting at the hinges, the old fashioned wooden rod supporting hangers and hooks of all types is a strain on the wall, the sliding tension of wood meeting plaster creates slow moving streaks on the wall. Shoes litter the carpet, falling out of hastily rigged shoe racks and door organizers.

I know a chronic and habitual shopper whose habit is so buried under decades of emotion and what I call “life overwhelming” ( that feeling of all the things of life happening at one time when you last suspect it=later post) that it appears by all outsiders looking in to be a personality quirk- nothing to be taken seriously, just a part of their overall makeup without any damaging circumstances.  How you fill your empty space is unique to you. 

How we fill the emptiness within manifests in so many practices turned habits its hard to recognize sometimes what the source of the suffering really is. Overeating could be forcing down feelings of inadequacy or  hopelessness. Pursuit of dead end relationships could be a fear of being alone or abandonment. Taking on more jobs than are necessary or even wanted could be a fear of not being needed or not liked.  Be curious about why you fill your empty space.

Growing up, which I now know is not a statement of the past but a continuously ongoing process for me. I wanted to be liked more than I realized. This is hard to come to grips with for  someone who so values “quiet, alone, me-time” that I schedule and plan dates for and all by my lonesome.  What I have learned is that there is a difference in the time I choose to be alone and wanting companionship, I don’t have to sacrifice one for the other to meet someone else’s terms. Be cautious of how you fill your empty space. 

As I search for my purpose in this life, I find more and more that the paths we set for ourselves can sometimes be bigger than we hope to dream but only because they are designed to impact others through intertwined destinies. Self awareness and honesty are the greatest tools to fill your empty space like layers and not emotional dumps. 

I hope you fill your empty space in a way that changes your world.

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