When I think about the opportunities I let slip away because I was challenged and lost out to my own lack of self confidence, I boil over with anger. Granted, my anger isn’t what most people want to see from a chick named Ebony, but I own it. I own it because I don’t let it get the better of me by yelling, screaming or letting “button pushers” believe they have gotten the best of me by pushing me to the edge of a tantrum. I do sulk -big time.
But, about that lacking confidence thing. It’s amazing to me how I can talk myself out of a good thing for me while giving 110% to volunteering, friends in need or people for whom I hold a certain amount of affection.
How do I turn those eternal expressions inward? When I was younger, I would wake up early, pray, meditate and stretch just to create a positive space for myself before going into the world/the day.
So my theory is that I crumbled, flaked or folded when things became too challenging or was rejected or anticipated rejection. I let the day’s anticipated negativity beat me before my feet hit the floor.
Growth and positive change must be checked every day. Can’t fold, flake or crumble.